Bounty Hunters

Jaron's 3rd Birthday

August 8th was Jaron's birthday and he was soooo excited. When we asked him what kind of party he wanted he replied, "A Mario Party!" Being the good parents that we are (-: we created the mushroom kingdom for his birthday. I designed and had printed and die-cut a couple of 38" Mario and Luigi's from foam core. Jessica took care of the cupcakes by making them look like toadstools and a Mario face. Overall the party was great fun and we appreciate the family and friends that traveled to St. George to celebrate with us. Jaron LOVED all of the trucks, animals, puzzles and other toys that he got. Below are a few select photos from the Birthday Bash!

Idiocracy Part 1

I realize that growing up on a farm in a small town may have given me an advantage in the following story I'm about to share with you, but do people ever research any marketing claims? First of all, let me preface this by saying that whoever had the idea to market the "Pure Angus Beef" angle is brilliant. Now for my experience.

Matt and I decided we wanted to get some McDonalds in our bellies for lunch the other day. As we were pulling up I saw they had banners all over the restaurant advertising their new 1/3 lb Pure Angus Beef burgers. Now Matt already knows how I feel about the Angus Beef marketing that started a few years back. It's not that I dislike Angus beef (or any other beef for that matter). It's the fact that there is no fundamental difference between an all Angus beef patty from any other patty, yet the general public has been duped into thinking it is somehow superior in quality and flavor. I'm sure in a blind taste test they couldn't tell the difference, but dang if it doesn't sound a lot better!

I decided I was going to ask the clerk what the difference was between the Angus Beef and the beef they use in their other burgers. The answer I received was pretty funny and I had a hard time keeping a straight face. I can't remember what the clerks name was so we'll just call her Sally. This is how the conversation went:

Jake- "Hey, what is the difference between the Angus burgers and the other burgers?"
Sally- "Well, they are made from 100% pure Angus Beef."
Jake- "What are the other burgers made from then?"
Sally- "...Umm...quarter-pounder meat?"

There it is, All "Full of flavor" and stuff

I couldn't make this stuff up. Maybe it's always been this way, but society in general seems to be out of touch with reality much of the time. Are we really so susceptible to whatever the Television and Magazines tell us that we will believe it all? Will we continue to be the marionette puppets of effective advertising and viral marketing individuals? Are we truly headed for an idiocracy in a matter of a few generations. Probably not, but incidents like these keep me smiling. Einstein was quoted as saying (and I'm paraphrasing) that "even though we consider ourselves to be superior to primitive man in every way, there are some things we are not superior in. How many people have any knowledge about the nature and origin of the things they use everyday? Primitive man knew how to create a bow, how to hunt, how to make clothing, grow food and all of the basic items for survival."

Ramblings

I wanted to do a post thanking my loyal readership of one, my wife Jessica. If my posts do nothing more than amuse her everyonce in a while it is still worth my while to post. Besides, I really just do this for myself. I really don't care if people read or what they think about my opinions. After all, that is why I love this country. You ARE entitled to your own opinion and it's OK if you disagree.

Writing is more like therapy for me. Some people exercise. Some people eat. Some people are assigned to go to anger management classes. Writing serves as my stress valve as well as an avenue for free thought and recapitulation. I would go as far as to say that if I were a good enough writer I would like to do it for a living. Unfortunately, I'm nowhere good enough to write for a living. Schooling would help I suppose. Reading others works is beneficial too... but in the mean time it will just be a hobby and a pipe dream.

Any medium that serves as a conduit for creativity will always interest me. I loved Legos as a child - I love Illustrator and Photoshop as an adult. This is one of the least focused blog posts I've done in a while. I'm really getting excited to see my brother Shay again. He will be returning home from his mission in Iowa this July. That's all for now.

White Chocolate: Uncovering the Myths

I got into a little discussion the other day with my neighbors, the Burbidges, pertaining to whether or not White Chocolate is really a chocolate at all. Lyn contests it is not and I contested that it must be. After all, I saw it on the internet once so you KNOW it has to be true.

I know that most of you reading this entry have been dying to know. No fear, I'm on the task. I did my homework (I'm thorough like that) and this is what I came up with.

There is "real" white chocolate, which is sort-of real chocolate in that it comes from the same cacao beans as regular chocolate. It contains just the fat, the cocoa butter, which provides chocolate's unique mouth feel. There is no chocolate liquor, which ends up in the brown stuff we usually think of as chocolate. Most "white chocolate" has little or no real cocoa butter. It can contain any kind of fat. So can brown chocolate, but brown chocolate without cocoa butter can't be called "chocolate" in most of the world.

White Chocolate, the holy grail of unhealthy food... I salute you.

So there you have it folks. We were both right. For the record, I love white chocolate. White chocolate reeses are God's gift to the world. Dark chocolate can just go to H### for all I care. The single nastiest "treat" you can consume is a dark chocolate cherry cordial... oh snap I just threw up in my mouth a little!

Global Warming "The Fix Is In"

Well, It's about that time again. Time to throw some gasoline on this proverbial fire that is the debate of Global Warming. I know, I've written about this in the past, but I just can't get enough of the idiocy that seems to flow from the mouths of supporters of this politically driven agenda.

Allow me to paint a picture for you. It's an early Sunday evening and I'm enjoying a doomsday show on the Discovery channel. It's basically a top ten countdown of the greatest threats to humanity. The usual suspects are showing up so far - nuclear weapons, giant asteroids, major volcano eruptions, viruses and plagues- you get the picture. We get to the number one threat and I'm thinking, "they've covered all of the ones I could think of, including a few surprises (killer machines anyone?), the number one threat must be pretty menacing. And then it's the big reveal, or should I say this is when the politics and agenda pushing started. Number one is... you guessed it, Global Warming! Yeah that's exactly what I... wha... wait a minute, really? Global Warming? And was that just Al Gore I saw a quick snippet of? Yep, there he is in all his glory. The self-appointed czar of the Global Warming... wait... what? Oh, excuse me, I was just informed that Global Warming is no longer the buzz word for this supposed man-created phenomenon. It's now being referred to as simply "Climate Change." Yep, that's the best they could come up with. I better be politically correct here, I don't want "Big Sister" (Janet Napoletano) to read this blog and accuse me of being a quote "Right Wing Extremist" and "Posing a potentially serious threat to our nation." Nope, I won't do that because I'm a patriotic American that obeys the laws of my country, misappropriated as I believe some of them are.

So here is the host of this show interviewing Al Gore as if he is the one who has personally studied climate change and used his own conjecture and theories to prove it. I guess if you can't be a puppet in the White House why not be a puppet for huge multi-billion dollar organizations like Green Peace or GE or any of the other bureaucratic, pencil pushing entities that would have us living in little grass huts if they had their way. Yes, it's that same GE that owns NBC and who knows what other companies. Funny how they push their agenda to sell "Green" appliances and products through the NBC news propaganda and "Green Week" on all of their major TV shows. And people really think they care about the environment? They don't give a rats ass about it as long as it gets people to buy their ridiculously priced green products. I guess Discovery Channel is sipping... wait guzzling down the coolaid as well. Too bad. I would've hoped that scientific integrity (if there is such a thing) would have prevailed and they would have at least presented both sides of the equation so that people could decide for themselves.

I guess in the end the weapon that brings the most success is fear. Previous and current presidential administrations have used it to push their agenda. from Clinton to Bush to Obama. We've seen it used over and over again by our government anytime they want us to do something or react in a certain way. This goes way beyond Climate Change. People, please do not eat all of the bull$#!! you're being fed by those who do not have your best interest in mind. Let you're voice be heard or nothing will ever change. To quote someones famous words (or lyrics) "Those who don't stand for something will fall for anything."

This message is sponsored by no one and is soley aimed at those who may find the idea that finite man is bringing the earth to it's knees, and consequently our own knees in the process, by emiting carbon gases into the air to be a declaration of stupidity. Thank you, that is all.

The Summer of Blockbusters

Is it just me or does it seem like this coming summer's movies are going to blow last years crop out of the water (sans "The Dark Knight.") I mean, I'm having a geekgasm thinking of watching all of the movies that seem tailor made for me. Terminator Salvation, Transformers 2, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Harry Potter, Prince of Persia, The Hobbit... the list could go on, but those are just a few off the top of my head. I need to start making some serious cash soon so I can go to the theater to see a few of them. I haven't been to the theater in what seems like forever. It's kinda tough to go when you have two young children and no money though! (-: Oh well, I guess if all else fails I can always wait a few months and Redbox it. Which by the way, bravo to the person that started Redbox. Brilliant, just brilliant.

Flitch Update

Just in case some of you don't make it over to the Flitch Creative Blog I thought I'd give a little update on one of the things we've been up to. I've got a longer post going up on Flitch's blog sometime this week but this should suffice for now.

We've been exploring different ways of advertising that would be cost effective and garner results for us. One thing we decided to do was sponsor the St. George Blitz semi-professional team. Big Matt decided he wanted to strap on the pads at least one more time so he went to tryouts and got put in as one of the starting O tackles. In the process we've become pretty good friends with the owners who are two brothers from Mesquite about our ages respectively. We've been able to secure a good bit of design work from them and some of their sponsors, including the media guide. We are excited to be a sponsor and the team is really looking great. I think they have a good shot at winning the league title this year. If any of you get a chance I recommend getting out to at least one home game. There will be a fun family atmosphere with things for the kids to do outside of just watching the football game. I've posted our ad that will be running in the media guide for the season.

GO BLITZ! GO FLITCH!

My nerd dreams

We all spend time inside our heads in (literally) "My Space." I imagine the inside of our heads being like a space that is furnished with anywhere from the romantic to the hectic to the nerdy and so on. If you ever wanted to get inside my head and take a peek I'll give you a hint at what you'd likely see. It would look like a combination between an Apple ipod commercial, Metroid videogame, and SportsCenter's studio. Everything would have a nice shine and would show off a slight reflection of your image. It would be very organized, feature an open design and little to no clutter. A sterile color scheme of greens, whites and charcoal colors to saturate your visual palette.

Now let you tell you my ultimate dream, and I must issue a cautionary nerd alert before I proceed. If you don't like sci-fi, videogames or cool gadgets and technology this may not be appropriate for you. Did I lose anyone? Good. Let's continue. Ever since I played my first videogame I've always had a dream of creating my own game world filled with characters and creatures from my imagination. Developing a high end AAA title these days rivals that of a blockbuster Hollywood production in cost and manpower making this dream a distant one. Enter Wiiware and the iphone.

These two mediums have brought development back to the garage. They offer the tools to create a game on a shoestring budget. Sure it may not have the epicness of a new Halo or Metroid game but it can still be a heck of a lot of fun. It's brought the industry back to full circle if you will. Enter Flitch Games (my own small development studio.) Big Matt and I will sometimes discuss simple game ideas that we could bring to life. My idea now is to design a game where the entire purpose is simply to blow things up. You want to see what 1000 lbs of dynomite will do to a fire engine? try it out. You want to drop napalm on a football stadium? Go for it. Don't worry no people or animals would be featured in the game. Just inanimate objects. I would want a dynamic physics engine that could process user generated content to give accurate and satisfying explosions. I would create a forum where you could upload your chaos and have others rate it or download it themselves, then modify and execute their own experiments. Simple in design and limitless in possibilities. Obviously there are other details to be ironed out and feature sets to add. But who doesn't like to blow stuff up? who hasn't wanted to shoot a propane tank with a rifle to see it shoot like a missile? OK maybe that's just me (-:

In other news, my son Jaron now can officially make it around the track in Mario Kart Wii all by himself. No help from me. He runs into walls and falls off edges, but eventually he completes the lap. His dad is so proud of him.

Things I enjoy - Monday edition

I know it sounds like I've been whining a lot in my last few posts but that isn't the case at all. I'd like to think of myself as something more like a watchdog (albeit a very small one) against anti-American semetism and policies. I'm very patriotic and like to be involved in my country. That being said, I want to mix it up a little today with something lighthearted and fun. The following are things (in no particular order) that I enjoy on any given Monday. I have much to be thankful for and it's time I let everyone know.

I enjoy my children's excitement when I walk through the door after work, their faces beaming and yelling daddy, daddy, daddy! Carmendee does this little dance where she flaps her arms rapidly and wiggles from side to side as she squeals with delight. Jaron yells at the top of his lungs, "Daddy is home!" and runs over to give me a big hug and kiss. If this sounds a little like Leave it to Beaver land, I promise you it's for real. I enjoy a warm embrace with my wife... then she usually asks me to pop her back, which I am happy to oblige with. I enjoy the excitement of my kids when I ask them if they want to go for a ride to the store with me. They love trips in the car, especially with dad AND mom. Jaron loves to push the cart and Carmendee is the perfect passenger while browsing up and down the isles of the grocery store. I think it's fun to watch them try to play Wii Fit as they bob back and forth trying to ski down the mountain or head some soccer balls.

We're a pretty rag-tag looking bunch in this photo

Mondays are also a great night for my favorite TV shows. After putting the kids to sleep we can enjoy some time together watching 24 or our perennial favorite, Chuck. I enjoy lying in bed with my wife relaxing and reflecting over the days events. After the kids have long been asleep we will sneak into their bedrooms just to gaze upon them one last time before we also call it a night. Carmendee is always laying on top of all of the blankets seemingly to make it impossible to tuck her in and Jaron has his entourage of stuffed animals all cuddled around his pillow.

As you can see it doesn't take a lot for me to be happy. If I can see my wife and kids happy and healthy and spend time with them that is really all I need. Simple delights. So no matter how messed up this world becomes I know my home can be a santuary from it all.

I'll end with this picture. This is a project Jaron did over at his daycare with Sheryl. They painted a rock and added hair and a face. When we asked him what it was he said it's name was Bridget! I have no idea where he'd ever heard of that name before. Needless to say, we thought it was pretty funny. What an imagination that kid.

Obama, the giver of good gifts?

Wow, I almost forgot my username and password it's been so long. I may have to shake off some of the literary dust that may have accumulated during my hiatus. I was threatened to be taken off of some peoples blog lists if I didn't start blogging again (looking at you Lyn)... so I better get my butt in gear and do what comes natural to me -- that is rant.

I've gone on a tirade on Obama before but this latest blunder (which is probably a favorable word considering the deed) has got me hot again. Sure he's done some really stupid things in what seems like the longest 8 weeks or so in U.S. history but this one is downright offensive. On behalf of all of the Brits out there who may stumble upon this post, I offer my sincere apologies for our arrogant president. Below is an excerpt taken from Glenn Beck about the incident. You may want to read it so you can understand my indignation. If you already know the story you can skip below to my comments.

--But then he also gave a gift. He gave a gift of a bunch of videos. Well, okay. That's usually not what the president gives. Usually it is a gift to the head of state of something of significance, something of real importance, something that signifies how deep our friendship goes and also says something about our country and our resources and, you know, our heritage. To me it's appropriate that Barack Obama, when he looks to what could be a statement gift that I can give the leader of our greatest ally, what is something that says everything you need to know about America, he goes and gets a bunch of DVDs from movies that we've made. I mean, it's -- and he didn't even get the movies that they can watch over in England. It's not the same technology. So all of the movies that Gordon Brown was given as a gift from our president he can't even watch. And what did we receive as a gift? Barack Obama was given a pen made from the wood of the HMS Resolute. The Resolute was one of their big warships and it went -- these two ships went up and they were going up into I think it was the Arctic Circle, I'm not sure. They went up to the Arctic Circle. The Resolute gets stuck in the ice. So does the other one, but the Resolute never gets out, and the captain of the Resolute says, "Get out of the ship, get onto the other one; we're going home." When he gets home, he's court-martialed because he's left the HMS Resolute, a perfectly good ship, and he abandoned. And so he is court-martialed for it. Well, eventually the ice breaks and America goes up and we pull that thing out of the ice and we sail it over to England and we return her in, like, 1850 something or other as a gift. Well, the Resolute is in service for England and, you know, it signifies our gift to England and we say, please forgive us for everything that we've gone through in the past 50, 75 years. We are brothers. The Resolute is a big deal. So when the Resolute is decommissioned, Queen Elizabeth decides, I'm going to take the wood and I'm going to make two desks. I'm going to make one for me and one for the president. This is as significant as France giving us the Statue of Liberty. So she takes this and she makes it into two desks. It's the desk that -- remember little JFK, Jr., he opens up the trap door and he looks, you know, through it? That's the USS Resolute desk. There's only two of them: One with the queen, one with us. FDR put that door there. This is such a historic desk. He put that door there so it would hide his wheelchair so nobody could see his wheelchair. The door is the only place where the seal has the eagle looking down at the arrows instead of the olive branches, okay?
So what does Gordon Brown do? He comes to meet with the president and he gives him a set of pens made from the wood of the USS Resolute to match the desk that should be in a museum. He gives him a matching set of pens. Barack Obama hands him a basket -- I'm not kidding you, hands him a basket of DVDs that he can't play. Mrs. Brown has children's clothing from, like, the best designer in England, you know, all fit the kids. Michelle Obama goes downstairs, grabs a couple of boxes of Marine One helicopter models and gives them to Mrs. Brown: "Here, this is for you." As bad as this is -- because what this shows is either the disdain of the Obamas for England, and I don't know which one's worse, the disdain of England from the Obamas, and you should see -- Michelle Obama, what she has written about England, you know, they were just, they were the linchpin of the slave trade. She has real disdain for them, at least she did when she wrote her term paper. It may be just that, that she hates white England. I'm not sure. But let's give her the benefit of the doubt and let's say they don't hate England. It shows the arrogance. We have people in the State Department, this is all they do is come up with gifts. The arrogance of this administration. They are obviously not listening to the State Department on something this important as a gift. And the worst part of it is the bust of Winston Churchill, there are two of these. England's working in twos: The HMS Resolute desk and the bust of Winston Churchill. This is the most famous bust of Winston Churchill. England gave this bust to the president for the White House right after 9/11 as a sign of standing together: We will stand together united as one. They gave us this historic bust of Churchill. It has been sitting in the oval office since 9/11. Barack Obama says we're going to box this back up and you guys can take it home with you. Gordon Brown says, "No, no, no. Mr. President, that was a gift from the people of Englan d after 9/11. If you want to keep that in one of your museums, you may keep it in one of your museums but please, no, no, that was a gift. That wasn't to borrow. We didn't just lend that out to you. That's a gift from us." He said, "No, that's okay. We don't want it." And he's sending the bust of Winston Churchill back to England. The people of England are going crazy and they're going crazy because our press hasn't even reported on this. What is this guy doing? --

So here we are with a president who has lived a life of priviledge at others expense for his entire existance. He's a marxist socialist who would like nothing more than to have more control and power than any president in U.S. history. Frankly the guy scares me. There is nothing to suggest that he won't try to deliver on every single one of his socialist programs and we will all pay for in the years to come. Sorry, back to the point. Why would the world have wanted Obama as president for us? They all showed overwhelming support for him during the election. I bet they are feeling just as miffed as all those who voted for him on election day, especially now the people of Great Britain. Let the Obama anthem sooth your weary soul. Hope and Change, Hope and Change people!